The Whitstable Years – Part Two

1978

In 1978 Edgar and Amy and family returned to New Zealand, and Doug had to go into the Royal Victoria Hospital, Folkestone, to have two impacted wisdom teeth out, a painful business which had worried him for months. He was out in two days, black and blue round the neck and had his stitches out at Canterbury Hospital after six days.

Anthony had the measles in May and we went to Peter’s first birthday party on the 9th.

Then it was holiday time at “Two Trees” again and we spent a day with Clive’s Aunts, Phyllis and Lily while we were there see Photo 244.

Later in the year Bobby came to stay for a week and Sally kindly took us to see Audrey and Neil, also Basil and Ethel.

There were several visits that summer, to Liz’s with Sally and the boys, picnicking in the rain at Keston – Photo 245. Also to Bobby’s where Phyl was visiting then and saw Frank there Photo 246.

Owen and Joan Willson visited us one day – Photo 247 – but sadly soon after that Owen died of a heart attack while driving with Joan whose legs were injured trying to stop the car.

The Mattocks moved from the house next door to us, and the Kedges moved in with their son Richard, our nicest neighbours. Photo 248 is of the Kedges picnicking in our garden on the day of the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana. Some years later however they rather upset me. It was just after Doug had died, and they had the extension built at the back of their house, completely blocking my view of the sea and Sheppey and some glorious sunsets, only to then move directly afterwards!! Photo 249 is of a typical sunset, which was taken by Bobby from the front of the house, which I can no longer see and enjoy at the back because of the extension.

Sadly, Ethel Green was put in a home in Herne Bay because she was senile and Sally took me to see her, but surprisingly she did recognise us.

Our annual family dinner was at Giovanni’s in Whitstable and we spent our usual Christmas Day at Sally and Clive’s and Boxing Day here.

1979

In 1979 Doug started the New Year unwell, the weather was bad with snow and ice, so he stayed in bed on antibiotics, but was better by the 8th January. The weather did not improve and February was just as bad. To crown it all the piano went for an overhaul, which was awful for Doug, and did not return for seven weeks.

Anyhow by Easter things were better, Liz, David and Peter came and stayed the night and on Easter Monday the family came for lunch.

Doug sang in the Messiah in Canterbury Cathedral with Kent College on the 11th May. Sally’s family went camping at Whitecliff Bay and Anne Benson and a friend stayed in their house, so we saw her there. Nigel brought Bobby down for a few days and she went home by train for the first time.

We went for our holiday at “Two Trees” on the 14th June, by train this time, but we were met by Christine at Ryde. Most of our evenings were spent at Dolly’s and supper on the Sunday, when we met Keith Ward. We had our usual meeting with Phyllis and Lily at Shanklin one day. There was a nice family in the beach hut next to ours with two children, the poor little girl was arthritic, so awful for her, but she managed to get about. Kathrine Dougharty and a friend visited us one day, and Walter another, so we had plenty of company that year. We came home by train as well and were met at the station by Sally.

Liz phoned to say Peter had whooping cough but luckily it was not bad because they visited us two days after that.

Ray and Lyn Gray visited us with Mrs. Osbourne, an old friend of theirs, who lived in St. Anne’s Road and has since died.

Sally’s family went to Wales for their holidays.

Paul passed 4 ‘O’ levels and 1 ‘A’ level.

On the 19th August there was a presentation to the four Senior Choristers of All Saints Church and Doug and three other members were presented with R.S.C.M. certificates and medallions for long service – Photo 250.

On the 28th August we visited David and Liz. Came home by train as usual but had to walk up the hill as there was no taxi. Doug rushed straight up to bed and was in great pain, so we knew what it meant, another heart attack. I phoned the doctor on duty but it was very late by then and he did not want to come, saying try an aspirin, but I insisted, so he came and was very rude and Doug told him off. He gave Doug two pills which made him sick, but luckily I think Doug slept a bit and the pain had gone by the morning. Anyhow I called our own doctor and of course Doug was sent to hospital where he stayed until the 11th September and even then had another slight heart attack after a week.

To cheer us up Anne Elizabeth was born to Liz and David on the 3rd November and Sally and Anthony rushed down there to mind Peter. Liz was soon out of hospital and we visited them on the 10th November. At last a grand daughter, just like a pixie. Photo 251 is of Anne as a baby and Photo 252 is a later picture of her with Peter.

Then Doug was back to normal so we carried on as usual, thank goodness, and had Christmas with Sally’s family. Chris, Shirley and Paul had flown back to Miri for Christmas with Shirley’s family. They left on the 9th December and were due back in the New Year on the 15th.

1980

In 1980 Jack Cummings was taken very ill, was sent to hospital on the 9th January and died on the 12th. We did not dare go all that way to Hordle in January to attend the funeral, but did go on the 20th February to stay with Win. She was marvellous then, but it was very cold and damp which made me worry, but Doug was fine. We did a lot of walking and shopping and only stayed a week. We arranged to visit her again in June, which she seemed pleased about.

Doug had to go to hospital about his eyes to see Miss Starbuck because he had glaucoma and was given the usual eye drops.

On the 14th March the Rev. Christopher Lewis was inducted and became the Vicar of All Saints. On the 25th March Robert Runcie was enthroned as the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Liz and David and family went to New Milton for their holidays in June and as we were going to Hordle at the same time, Clive drove us down there and went on to where the others were for the weekend. We had a nice holiday then, but it nearly killed Doug trying to walk to the sea, so far away. Photo 253 is of Liz and Co. with Winnie and Photo 254 is of Sally and Clive’s four boys also with Win. While with Winnie we visited our old friends from Dulwich, Harold and Frida Begernie in Lymington and then Gerry and Grace Faulkner, it was so nice renewing their acquaintance. Of course we saw Sue and George Dove, and Grandma Dove ( who used to live next door to Jack and Win’s) as usual. That was the last time we saw Grandma Dove or Harold or Gerry who have since died.

Edward was born in July to our neighbours the Kedge’s which completed their family. In August Sally’s family went to Cornwall for their holidays and Edgar and Amy stayed in their home, so we saw a lot of them which was nice.

On 25th October we had the family dinner at the “Fox and Hounds”, Herne Common.

We had Christmas Day at Sally and Clive’s and a party at Neil and Audrey’s on the 2nd January, where we met Sheila’s family and got to know them.

1981

Early in 1981 it was back to Canterbury Hospital for Doug’s eye tests.

On the 20th February we heard that Edgar had died suddenly of a heart attack in New Zealand, he was 76.

Most Wednesdays we had fish and chips at Sally’s from the shop near them, visiting Gracie on the way. On Monday’s Janet took Doug to a rehearsal at Kent College under Mr. Everhart, for whatever they happened to be singing in the Cathedral next.

I spent Friday afternoons at church with Flo Pearce and Co. seeing to the flowers and occasionally we had quiet evenings in various peoples houses. We spent days with various parts of the family or they came to us.

Christine and Keith got married in Bembridge on the 28th March. We would have liked to have gone, but it would have been an expensive trip, having to stay somewhere.

I think the world was startled when the Pope was shot, but thankfully he recovered.

We had a birthday dinner for Doug at the “Fox and Hounds” and a family gathering the next day for his 80th birthday on 29th May. Photos (255/256) are both of this special occasion.

In June we went to Bembridge for our usual holiday at “Two Trees”, and the very next day Frank died, and we could not do anything about it, so sad. Ian and Diane and family were staying with Dolly, who was very ill really, so we saw a good deal of them and of course Phyl and Lily. Photos (257/258)

Soon after returning home we heard from New Zealand that Amy had died, aged 73, on the 11th July of a heart attack too, so soon after Edgar, the family were devastated.

David and Liz had a holiday at New Milton again and went to see Winnie and Sally and Clive and Co. went to Shanklin, and Chris and Co. to Guernsey.

Soon after David had to go to Sri Lanka on business, so Liz asked us to stay for the weekend, but of course Doug could not sleep and ended up fainting over breakfast. Poor Liz called the doctor but Doug recovered and then David arrived home early. So we had to get home somehow as there were not enough beds. Good old Chris managed to take us although he was not feeling too good that day. Next day we called the doctor and he ordered an ECG which was excellent, so it was only a faint after all.

In August Doug felt very low and missed church for two weeks, but was well enough for our family dinner at “The George”, Farnborough.

Then, for some reason, in November I started a nose bleed, which would not stop and lasted a whole weekend, including Remembrance Sunday, and Doug had an immense carbuncle which must have been very painful. So no church again and District Nurses flocked round for treatment and drugs. It took him a long time to recover, that’s what taking steroids did for him.

Then it turned very cold and snowed, but Doug managed midnight mass somehow and Christmas at Sally’s.

1982

The year started off with another crop of boils for Doug, so no church for three weeks, and he was then rushed to hospital for an emergency hernia operation on the 28th January. He was pushed out after six or seven days with a leaking wound, so more district nurses and no entries in his diary. The hospital had taken him off his steroids so he had terrible eczema, which kept him in bed and very depressed. The doctor tried valium but he hated it, so was put back on steroids and was soon up again thank goodness.

Meanwhile Dolly had died in Bembridge on the 4th February of Cancer. Photo 259 is an earlier picture of her taken with us sometime before she was ill. Photo 260 is the last picture we had of her, taken the previous year.

Sadly Anne Benson’s marriage to Ray had broken up, but she had met Len Owens, and they were married on the 14th April at Sutton. Both Sally and Shirley went to the wedding.

Doug was back to church in May and celebrated his 81st birthday. Then of course it was our Golden Wedding year, and on Friday the 4th June the choir came in after practise for sherry and sandwiches, and on Saturday we dined with the family at Clive and Sally’s, and then back here for tea and cake made by Tori Boucherat, and supper. A very happy anniversary, and we even managed church the next day. Photo 261 is of our lovely Golden Wedding cake and Photo 262 is of the family gathering.

We went to Janet’s wedding at The Barn on the 19th June, but sadly that marriage did not last long.

Doug had a little respite from his trials in July it seemed, because we walked to and from church once or twice, and even walked to Sally’s once, a record.

Chris and Shirley went to Malta (without Paul for the first time) for their holidays, Liz and David to Swanage, and Sally and Clive to Dorset, but our holidays were over now.

Doug started boils again in October, but carried on, and Amanda then took us to church and brought us home, but he still managed to deliver the magazines.

We took to lunching at the “Tudor Restaurant”, occasionally with Sally, and then on to her house.

We still managed church on Sunday and Midnight Mass at Christmas.

1983

Early in 1983 it was boils again and prescriptions, and a touch of ‘flu, which kept Doug in for a fortnight. There was plenty of snow, but all was well by Easter Sunday, and Laurie Bradley helped him with the choir sheets and boards.

Sheila’s husband Eric died with a heart attack on Good Friday just before taking a service, and an old friend, Leslie Butterfield, died in April.

Chris and Shirley were coming to dinner on the 14th of April, so Doug insisted on going to the corner shop for wine, and found he could not get back, but our neighbour opposite, Mr. Harman noticed this, and backed his lorry down the hill, and gave him a lift, which made him realise at last that he must not do such a thing again.

The Bissell’s opposite decided to join their family in New Zealand, and said goodbye for good in May.

We managed a family gathering for Doug’s 82nd birthday on the 29th May, but by June he was not well again, so no church until July, when the Dougharty’s managed a visit.

Then it was holiday time again, and Clive and Sally’s family went to Penzance, Liz and David’s to Devon, and Chris and Shirley to Spain.

We seemed to be managing to go to church again, with various drivers, right up to Christmas, which was a record. We spent Christmas Day with the Family as usual and on the 27th were taken by Clive to Derek and Cynthia’s at Gerrards Cross, where Phyl was celebrating her 80th birthday. A lovely gathering meeting all their family. Photo 263 is of Doug with Sally and I, Photo 264 is of the then three surviving Roskilly sisters and Photo 265 is of Doug doing his favourite thing.

1984

In 1984 the church was being altered, so services were held in the hall, and choir practise in the Vicarage.

Doug was taken ill on the 1st February, and began to fail. Liz and David visited on the 18th March. So no more church, the Vicar brought communion, and prayers were said for him. He had heaps of visitors, and the doctor called most days, sometimes twice.

We tried to get a single bed for him, which was left behind in the Verger’s cottage, but could not get it down the stairs. So Clive, Sally, Jon and me came back from doing this, had a drink of sherry, and suddenly Doug had another heart attack, and he died in his chair, so quietly, on the 24th March.

On the 30th March Doug was given a very moving funeral at All Saints Church. There was a full choir with several young girls, who had previously left the choir, attending, and crying during the service. There was a full church, and five clergyman in the congregation. They sang one or two anthems such as “God be in thy head” and the “Russian Contakion of the Departed”, which I did appreciate. Doug was cremated, as he had wished, at Barham.